Saying What You Want to Say with Your Mother of the Bride Speech

The best thing about making your mother of the bride speech is that you can be yourself. You are the strong, generous and beautiful woman who raised an equally strong, generous and beautiful bride. So let your pride show! Besides the stress that weddings bring (even though you’re not the one getting married), it’s perfectly normal to be nervous about speaking in front of an audience. Not only that, but embarrassing yourself with an ultra-sappy speech or humiliating your daughter by recounting tales of her childhood mischief. You may even think of backing out from the speech but that simply cannot happen because your daughter expects your support on the biggest day of her life… so far.

This is where the following two questions will come in handy when you are writing your mother of the bride speech. Each question will guide your efforts in writing the words to your speech and, in doing so, making your daughter proud – and yourself, too.

Who Are You Speaking For?

In an age where single mothers and divorced mothers are accepted by society and where blended families are almost the norm, writing the mother of the bride toast can be tricky. You have to find your voice, sort of speak, so that your speech will have a truly personal feel.

The first question then is: Who are you speaking for?

• Are you speaking for your late husband/father of the bride?

Keep the memories of your daughter’s late father as light in tone as possible while focusing on his pride for his daughter. This should be a joyous toast, not a eulogy.

• Are you speaking for your daughter’s absentee father?

When you and/or your daughter have been hurt by the absentee nature of her father, you should keep references to him to the bare minimum. Or not all, if your daughter decides not to mention him. However, if you do mention him, then limit it to a single line and avoid saying anything damning about his person.

• Are you speaking for both yourself and your husband? (Or beloved stepfather of the bride, as the case may be)

Use first-person plural pronouns like “us” and “we” during your speech so that your husband will feel included in it. Just be sure that your husband has given his consent on the contents of the speech; but you can always add a surprise verse in your mother of the bride speech just to keep things interesting.

The bottom line: You are speaking for yourself as much as for your daughter’s father.

What Do You Want to Say?

The next question deals with the actual message in your mother of the bride speech: What do you want to say? No matter what you want to say, always remember that your daughter’s wedding should be a happy occasion so keep your words happy, thankful and sincere. Your daughter’s husband and in-laws will appreciate it, too.

A sample outline of a good speech is as follows:

• Welcome the guests and introduce yourself.

• Welcome the in-laws.

• Talk about your daughter – her growing-up years, your joy and pride in her, and your hopes for her married life

• Talk about your son-in-law, too – his love for your daughter as seen in his actions, for example.

• Toast the newlyweds with your well wishes.

Don’t forget the KISS rule in your mother of the bride speech: Keep it short – no more than 10 minutes – and simple – no gushing sentiments and no bashing of other persons.